Let me elaborate, I am damned to be second best. I have been alive for 21 years and I have yet to feel like I have made a impact on someone’s life, or that I mean the most to someone. I am the last man in every group. The guy that everyone always calls on when all else fails. It’s sucks, but it gets worse. It’s not just friendships but love. I never give my all anymore, you know why? Because no matter how much I give myself to someone, there is another who eclipses me to just a shadow of what they will ultimately forget. It has filled me with doubt, that turned into fear, that makes pain, and all just piles up and is sinking me in my own self pity. How do I begin to change, when I know that I’m second on everyone’s mind. I’m a shadow, a ghost, a haze. That moves through this world making connections with people and all they will think of me is a shell of who I really am. Cause no one wants to dive deeper, unless I force them on me, but it isn’t the same. I wanna be first because they wanted me there, but until then. I am damned..